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Gasping for God: When Thirst Meets His River

  • Writer: Still His
    Still His
  • Aug 1
  • 3 min read

Updated: Sep 9

I am parched
I am parched

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God." (Psalm 42:1) 


Growing up in Jamaica, I learned what it means to thirst. Under the relentless blaze of the sun, within minutes, there is a longing, a thirst to drink, as one body weakens, and your entire being screams for water, not just a sip, but a flood to revive your parched soul. 


But lately, I've come to know another kind of thirst, one no doctor can explain. For months, they've told me, "You're dehydrated," and I've stared back in confusion: "How? I am always drinking!" But, maybe the water is slipping through me, unabsorbed, leaving my body gasping, an unquenchable thirst that I am unaware of. 


And then it hits me: My soul knows this same starvation. But unlike the unawareness of my body to this plight, I am fully aware of the need of my soul for the longing is forever before me, a longing for more, a longing to reach deeper depths and even higher heights.


I plunge into prayer, I gorge on Scripture, I weep at His feet, yet still, this hollow ache claws at my spirit. Like a person drinking sand, I swallow holy words, but my soul stays parched. "Lord, I'm here! I thirst! Why won't "You" fill me?" I cry. The more I seek, the deeper the hunger burns, as if I've barely grazed the surface of His fathomless love, aware that there is so much more that I do not know and have not touched. 


The desperation of the deer in Psalm 42 reflects the same longing that I have. Hunted, exhausted, its legs trembling from the chase, it collapses at the water's edge, gulping not for pleasure but for survival. One moment longer without that stream, and it dies. 


And so, my soul weeps with longing to be aligned with God, for my heart to know Him as He knows me.


You see, I don't just want hunger that defies logic: "The closer I get, the more I ache." 

 I need Him like breath. Like water. Like life itself. There's a holy desperation in me, a gasping.

But here's the sacred mystery: This unslaked thirst is not His rejection, it's His invitation. 


Jesus promised: 

"If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me will receive rivers of living water flowing in them." (John 7:37-38) 


That is the filling I need to quench my thirst.


I have come to realise that the dryness of my soul is not a curse. It's a signpost to dig deeper to where the living water flows. The world's waters cannot satisfy (Jeremiah 2:13). But His river? It overflows (Psalm 36:8). 


Reflection


You may have a fear that this hunger means you've failed. But what if it's proof you're alive? 

- A satisfied soul stops seeking. Yours? It's wired for eternity (Ecclesiastes 3:11). 

- A quenched hunger stops panting. Yours? It's being prepared for glory (Romans 8:18-23). 


This saying is the paradox of the saints: The more we drink, the more we thirst, because we're tasting the infinite. 


Come, Soak, Breathe

So, come, not with tidy prayers, but with raw gasps. 

- "Lord, I'm dry, flood me!" 

- "I've drunk and still starve, feed me!" 

-"Wrap me in You until my thirst becomes worship!" 


He's not withholding; God is drawing you into something more profound.  (James 4:8). That unquenchable craving? It's His mercy, pulling you into the current of His river, and where grace meets every gasp, and every panting prayer unlocks new depths of His presence. 


Run to the Waters.

Drink until you drown in Him. 


For the One who said, "I AM your portion" (Psalm 73:26) will satisfy, not by removing the thirst, but by becoming its endless fulfilment.


Prayer

"Lord, I'm tired of drinking and still starving. So here I am, panting, gasping, desperate. Pull me into Your river until my thirst becomes the very thing that drowns me in You. Amen."


Scripture Reading:

(Psalm 42:1; John 7:37, Isaiah 55:1) 


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